Wednesday, September 13, 2017

[2017] Summer Family Photos + Giveaway!

Despite my best intentions, my heart just wasn't into blogging this summer.... and now I feel like I'm doing major catch up! I made sure to post the important updates (and even then, there's a few little things I haven't posted about....yet) -- but between my pregnancy, our somewhat busy summer (I've been working a lot in hopes of being eligible for a full maternity leave again) and the major stress of our California referral, I kind of took a step back from social media and only focused on the things I had too. However, since receiving our California news, I've kind of had this fire lit underneath me, and actually have several planned (and partly already composed) posts I want to get uploaded over the next few months.

Much to Nick's slight annoyance (though, he admittedly enjoys the end result), we've done family photos between May and July since Evanna was born (ie. summer) and just love to see the growth and progression as the years go by (especially the huge contrast that our 2015 PICU pictures show). This year's photography was done by a different photographer, as I've been wanting to do a session with my friend  good Alissa of Lissables Photography for a few years now, and were able to finally coordinate a date that worked for both of us (easier said than done considering she lives in a completely different country).

The photos were actually taken at the same place we did our wedding photos, as the owner (a friend of my aunts) so graciously allowed us to again use her gorgeous property on the condition that she gets to see the photos afterwards lol. There are practically endless places to take pictures within this very well maintained property, and I'm sure we'll ask to use the property again in another 5 years!

Thanks so much to Alissa for capturing some beautiful moments, may of which I'll cherish forever xx

2016 Family photos posted here and here

// Maternity dress PinkBlush //


[GIVEAWAY]
with Little Poppy Co

video

So if you know me at all, and or been a reader since our PICU days, you'll know I have a soft spot for headbands and bows. For better part of 10 MONTHS while Evanna was in the PICU back in 2015 and due to what seemed like endless tubs (feeding, drainage and breathing), IV's and central lines, I wasn't able to dress my baby girl for a considerably long period of time. As a mother -- especially to a little girl (hello ruffles and lace!), this was just another heartbreaking layer on our already difficult situation, and even broke down in tears the day I packed away almost a years worth of clothes that Evanna never got wear. 
Due to receiving Evanna's diagnosis in utero, my lovely sister actually created a "headband making table" at my baby shower, and I may have spent just a small fortune on headbands before Evanna was born in preparation of her hospital stay. However, what we initially thought would be a 4-8 week hospital stay turned into something so much more, and I used my stash of headbands as a way to cope with our situation. The mini collection I had accumulated before Evanna was born was put to good use (plus it was a great way to ensure the medical team knew the patient they were rounding on was a GIRL....as Evanna was pretty much bald til the age of 2!), and soon began to build a reputation as the "girl with all the headbands". It honestly became a small source of joy during some of our darkest days. For whatever reason, when people came across our story either through my blog, Facebook or my Instagram, they saw and could recognize what I was doing, and soon headbands began to arrive from all over the world! To this day, I still cherish each one of those headbands we received (and believe I still have most of them stored away in case we have another girl!) and am beyond grateful for these little sweet packages of bows that so many people sent to us over the years. 

When asked a few weeks ago if I'd like to giveaway a 3 month bow subscription box from Little Poppy Co to one of my readers, I immediately said "heck yes".... cause as you can see, I have a huge soft spot for all things  headbands and bows! So tomorrow - [Thursday September 14] (won't promise a time....as we have our formal meeting with our cardiologist to officially discuss Evanna's surgery in California at 4pm!!), I will be posting a giveaway and all the details over on my Instagram. So be sure to check back there and enter to win some (in my opinion) incredibly adorable bows!

-----> In the meantime, feel free to use the code KIERRA50 for 50% off your first subscription!

xo The Irvine Family

Monday, September 4, 2017

|| when a dream becomes reality ||


When you constantly think about something for years, it almost hard to let reality sink in and grasp it’s no longer just a dream. I actually can recall a conversation I had with one of our favourite intensivists (Dr. Aditia) at the Stollery back when Evanna was still intubated and probably about 6-7 months old (January 2015) about Dr. Hanley, his reputation and extensive experience with Evanna’s type of heart defect. Dr. Aditia (and his wonderful wife who’s a well-known cardiologist) is actually from the San Francisco area (well, lived there for a time), and use to work alongside Dr. Hanley and expressed back then that it was well within our rights to seek out and consult with Dr. Hanley if Nick and I really wanted too. At the time, we were still dealing with just trying to extubate Evanna off the hospital ventilator and get her home (and completely unaware what laid ahead and how long that would truly take), and so while it wasn’t a priority at that time, I kept this in the back of my mind to look into and research further later on down the road. Finally, after discharging home following 400 days in hospital, we decided to just take a break, let Evanna recover and see what she would do on her own -- and go from there. Much to our medical teams surprise, Evanna did indeed get more stable and stronger over the course of that first year home (2016), but at the same time, I couldn’t ignore this plateau we had also hit in other areas. Sure things have remained very stable and we’ve largely remained out of hospital... but it was becoming a bit disheartening that we weren't able to wean her off oxygen whatsoever, and what her quality of life would look like moving forward was really weighing heavy on me as a mother.
So after a year of being patient and waiting to see if Evanna would improve on her own, I decided enough was enough, and as I stated before – “put my advocating mama pants” back on and seek an official opinion from Dr. Hanley in regards to Evanna. Dr. Hanley is extremely well known in the MAPCA (heck, CHD) world, and felt that if there was going to be one person that could potentially help her and provide us with a decent option – it was going to be him. Thankfully when I brought the topic up and discussed the issue up with our primary cardiologist at a cardiology checkup we had back in September 2016, she immediately agreed that this was a very appropriate "next step" and was completely on board with aiding in this referral.
However, while I knew there’d be a few hoops to jump through -- as we’re dealing with a completely different healthcare system, country and have so many logistics to factor in, there have definitely been some major and unexpected roadblocks that prolonged this process, and it’s been quite exhausting to say the least.

The past year has been a mix of hope and dread. In the first few weeks following my request to send Evanna’s medical records down to Dr. Hanley, I kind of kept seeing “signs”, like a billboard advertising flights and vacations to California on my way home, or constant popup ads on my computer promoting the same thing (ie. California) the night I wrote this blogpost where I first publicly revealed our plans for this referral. I really tried hard to not read too much into "these signs" (as I'm not generally into that sort of thing lol), but I still noticed them. I then had so many people comment and send me personal messages of their experiences of also running out of options (and being turned away from multiple cardiac centers), and yet have their case accepted by Dr. Hanley and everything going so well.
However, as time went on, and the obstacles began popping up, it kind of chipped away at that hope and I began wondering if I was doing all this work and advocating for nothing. The cardiac cath that we did in June didn’t help the situation, and I truly began preparing myself that Dr. Hanley was indeed going to come back and tell us “no”. Heck, I even began thinking up Plan B – which was to proceed with another cardiac cath that would actually be "interventional" sometime next Spring/Summer, as Dr. S (Stollery cath doctor) had indicated that her right side was in major need of some ballooning (and maybe even stents), but didn't want to do anything during that particular cath in case Dr. Hanley accepted our case and could better fix things via open heart surgery.

But here we are, and I’m just trying to come back down to Earth and decrease all this adrenaline/anxiety that I can still feel running through my body and not put myself into early labour lol. I know the hot temperatures haven’t necessarily been helping, but I’ve definitely been having a hard time turning my brain off a getting a decent night’s sleep this past week (and I generally sleep like a rock!), and I'm constantly having to stop and literally tell myself to relax and take deep breaths several times a day.
I'm trying my best to organize all my thoughts, and slowly put down on paper what we need to accomplish over the next several months (like a passport for baby brother!!) to ensure everything will go as smoothly as possible. Everything from how we're getting Evanna down there (though, this decision will have to be made in part with our medical team), submitting a referral to the Ronald McDonald House in Palo Alto, to securing a car rental (as I'm 99.9% sure we'll be flying down there), and what we need to bring with us! Unlike before, if we happened to forget something back in Calgary while we were in Edmonton, I could easily wait for the next time Nick came up to bring it to me, but definitely won't have that luxury this time around!

Due to timing, there are actually a few things already working in our favour and definitely can't ignore these incredible tender mercies and blessings. One of the biggest is I will currently be on maternity leave during this time (at this moment, my last day of work scheduled for November 23rd and with the vacation time I've built up over the past year, aim to have my LOA start on December 8th), and so I won't have to worry about getting time off work and will be receiving EI for that 12 month period. While I'm interested to see how everything lines up, Nick already has vacation time scheduled for sometime in February (but I know they may push for a March surgery date) and specifically set aside and reserved additional vacation time for this exact scenario when he submitted his vacation request last March (I also wouldn't be surprised if they let Nick switch around that February vacation time if need be too). Regardless of when we actually GO, I know Nick getting time off work won't be an issue, as he's been very open and communicated this referral to Stanford Children's Hospital to his supervisors from the very beginning, and we've been blessed with the most incredible support from both management and his EMS colleges since Evanna was born.

Thank you so much for the outpouring of incredible support over the past few days. I've actually received a number of messages from individuals who live in the Palo Alto area with offers of help should we need any, and continue to be blown away with the impact she continues to make and the hearts she has touched. 

xo The Irvine Family

PS. I promise to keep the blog updated every step of the way as we make the proper arrangements and get everything in order. The logistics it takes to go to the Stollery/Edmonton is always a little overwhelming at times -- so this is all just a  little daunting to say the least!


Follow Along

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

#CALIFORNIABOUND


To say the last 24hrs have been a whirlwind would be a complete understatement, and I’m trying my best to process all the information we’ve received and grasp that our life is going to be flipped upside down in the coming months. While I’ll get to ALL the details down below – essentially we just got word that after reviewing Evanna’s latest cardiac cath results, Dr. Hanley does indeed believe Evanna is a “good candidate for further pulmonary artery rehabilitation….. of both the left pulmonary artery system and the right artery system and eventually, for intracardiac repair” (quoting directly from the referral letter that our cardiologist received last week).

………..excuse me while I try to pick my jaw up off the floor.

In laymen terms, Dr. Hanley believes he can help Evanna, and will accept her as a patient!! I seriously keep bursting into tears, and have been overcome with waves of emotion, joy and major relief. Our whole medical team is just in shock right now, as the cardiac cath Evanna underwent back in June was quite worrisome and the interventional cardiologist (Dr. S) and Dr. Fruitman (our primary cardiologist) were quite frank and honest with us in their opinion that Evanna may even be too complicated for Dr. Hanley and that we really prepare ourselves for a “no”.

Due to some unforeseen roadblocks (ie. her bout with Endocarditis last Fall and the communication hiccups that delayed her cath referral), it has been an incredibly long process to get to this point. If you’re new to this blog, or maybe have forgotten – I’ve been advocating for this referral/consult since SEPTEMBER 2016, when during a cardiac checkup, I asked our cardiologist if she would send Evanna’s medical records down to Stanford/LPCH to be reviewed by Dr. Hanley (to which we received an initial response less than two months later). That’s right, we are literally just a few weeks away from hitting the 1 year mark since I first put things into motion – and other than our 400 day hospital admission back in 2014/2015, advocating and pushing for this referral has been one of the most emotional and mentally exhausting things I’ve ever had to do.
And now, with an answer in hand, we’ve just added about 100 things to “our plate” while we make arrangements and get all our ducks in a row for this huge endeavor.

........first things first – timeline/when? “within in the next 6 months”.

We have several factors to consider, such as Evanna’s currently stability (which is an absolutely huge blessing in it’s own right), the fact that at this moment in time, this is currently considered an elective surgery (more on that later), and I’m currently pregnant and due at the beginning of December (and yes, I did recently write about how boring this pregnancy was…. way to jinx myself lol – but of course in a good way). With that said, we’re looking at “late winter, early spring”.

So here’s the first few things that Nick and I need to accomplish and oversee in September:

1) Dr. Fruitman has to compose a letter and submit an application to the “Out-of-Country Health Services Committee” for their review (here’s a link to their webpage with further details if your curious). I’m not worried about this part, as Evanna isn’t the first child from Alberta that has been referred down to Dr. Hanley for Open Heart Surgery – but this part does take time in nonemergent cases, as apparently, they only meet certain times of the year. We already have the backing/”blessing” of our cardiac team (ie. our primary cardiologist and pediatric cardiovascular surgeon at the Stollery up in Edmonton) who will confirm that we’ve exhausted all our resources here in Canada, and this surgery (that’s not considered experimental – which is very important when you’re trying to gain government/provincial funding……) is in Evanna’s best interest.
Dr. Fruitman has to also consult with Respirology, as major considerations need to be made in regards to Evanna’s trach, ventilator and oxygen needs, and how we go about getting Evanna DOWN THERE for surgery. A “quick and short” trip up to Edmonton/Stollery (3hr drive within the same province) is considerably different then crossing/flying across the boarder to a different country…

2) Formally meet with Dr. Fruitman to actually discuss the risks and benefits of everything. Thus far (ie. the past 24hrs), I’ve only been able to have a 10 minute conversation with Dr. Fruitman on the phone and obtain a physical copy of Dr. Hanley’s letter from her cardiac nurse this morning. While I immediately said “YES” when Dr. Fruitman asked if “we” wanted to proceed with this, my incredible husband that’s always been my “ying to my yang” has pulled me back to Earth and ensure we truly understand what we’re actually saying “YES” too. He always knows how to keep me grounded and love how much we’ve compliment each other as husband/wife and parents to Evanna. We actually deal and process things very differently, and what one lacks, the other makes up for ten-fold. In my opinion, the dynamic of our relationship has been a huge blessing and a benefit to Evanna through this insane medical journey --- and her currently doing so well is a small testament to that (but yes, we also can’t discount that she’s quite the “fighter” herself lol).  
The past year has been spent “waiting” for an answer from Dr. Hanley, but because it was so uncertain as to what he’d actually say – we never really thought about what that could mean and the potential risks that come with signing those consent forms. What Dr. Hanley has proposed is quite risky and invasive, and we have to truly weigh if these possible benefits he’s proposing is worth the huge risk we’d be agreeing to (while also discussing the risks of not proceeding with this option that has been presented to us). Due to the fact that Evanna is currently very stable (despite her high oxygen requirements….), and not “deteriorating” right now... but in fact thriving, this option is currently considered “elective”, and it can be such an internal struggle as to whether or not we want to “rock the boat” and potently make things worse and lose Evanna. However, the alternative (ie. not do anything) also brings about it own sets of risks and devastating consequences.


[THE SURGICAL PLAN]

So we’re actually looking at 2 (potentially 3) surgeries and trips down to Palo Alto over the next year (or so), as Dr. Hanley has proposed and presented quite the plan to rehabilitate her MAPCA’s/collaterals. Then, IF everything goes well and her collaterals “behave”, cooperate, and grow – we could actually look at having her VSD closed (something that was never been a possibility before), and have what’s called a “full repair”.
In his letter, he would first like to tackle her LEFT side, as that’s been our most worrisome and difficult area with Evanna’s heart. Dr. Hanley wants to “salvage the ‘ghost’ upper and lower lobe branches, and unifocalize these to a central shunt in an attempt to promote growth of the left system”. In a second procedure, he would like to “address the right pulmonary artery with rehabilitation of all major right hilar branches that are currently stenotic. Depending on the growth of the left system, it would potentially be possible to bring the left and right systems together at that second operation”.
He concluded the letter with “Additionally, if we do bring the left and right systems together at that second operation, I would perform an interoperative flow study to determine whether it was adviable to close the VSD at that time”.

So there you have it folks! After explaining the contents of Dr. Hanley’s letter, Dr. Fruitman was quick state that while she knows Nick and I have always been level headed about our situation with Evanna, at the moment, we need to try and not get ahead of ourselves and just take this one-step-at-a-time. I laughed and said “hasn’t that always been the case with Evanna?”, to which she laughed and agreed with that observation.

Finally, while Nick and I somewhat consider ourselves “pros” at this surgery and hospital stuff, this newly presented option brings so many unknowns and situations we’ve never had to deal with before, and it’s a bit overwhelming to say the least. We will potentially be dealing with a new hospital that we are completely unfamiliar with (though, only I’ve only heard the best things about Stanford/LPCH) – and not just in a different city or province, but an entirely different COUNTRY! Another level of logistics that we’ve never had to take into consideration before, is we’ll have another child/baby by then… when all we’ve ever had to worry about is JUST Evanna! However, I do feel like it won’t be too difficult due to the fact that baby boy will essentially still be a newborn, and will hopefully sleep through most of it lol (not to mention that Nick is super dad, and I’m sure we’ll get by just fine).

I guess this is an appropriate time to ask for love, prayers and support as we seek guidance in pursing this absolutely amazing option that has been presented before us and strength in continuing to advocate for Evanna in our quest to improve her current (grim) prognosis and overall quality of life -- which ultimately is our main focus and goal.


xo The Irvine Family

Monday, August 28, 2017

|| 1st trimester summary ||


Well, I'm less than a few  weeks away from hitting the 3rd trimester and only just getting this post up...oops! So far things have been going really well, and incredibly smooth to say the least. Being that this my second (technically third) pregnancy, I feel like I know what I'm doing and navigating the system with much more efficiency than last time. Between the fact that Nick and I both work for the health region and we have a high special needs daughter with multiple specialists -- you learn a thing or two on how to work the system and so overall I feel so much more in control this time around.
We have what's called a "universal healthcare" system here in Canada, and if you don't access/use it very often, it's full potential is sort of unknown (which is why I roll my eyes at people who think our healthcare system sucks -- yet rarely use it themselves, and have very little first hand experience). Generally, you end up just "going with the flow", and perhaps not realize the reasonable requests you can make and how to take charge of your health. With Evanna, I initially just went where I was told, and was randomly assigned to both a Calgary and then Edmonton high risk OB (wasn't a fan of my OB in Calgary, but thankfully ended up with a fantastic high risk OB up in Edmonton a month before I delivered Evanna). I've actually discussed this topic recently with many medical professionals, and they all agree there needs to be some better understanding on how to navigate our healthcare system to avoid feeling lost in the shuffle. For example, when I went to my family physician to confirm this pregnancy, he gave me a referral for a dating ultrasound. At first he gave me a "req" (referral form) to a diagnostic place not far from his office. However, due to my past experience and the many ultrasounds I had with Evanna, I immediately requested for my req to be changed to one with EFW (they have multiple locations all around the city), as they are considered the best for quality diagnostic imaging that is done outside of hospitals here in Alberta, and would eventually end up there anyways for a screening ECHO. My doctor quickly ripped up the first form and printed off a new one for EFW (which I recommend to any local pregnant ladies), as it was considered a very reasonable request and was happy to oblige. Ensuring my ultrasounds were all done with EFW has already been a fantastic decision, as they are extremely professional, super organized/on top of everything, and overall feel like I'm being taken care of. I actually ended up bonding with the tech who did my nuchal scan back in May, and once I went over the results with the radiologist, they immediately  booked a screening ECHO exam (which happened earlier this month) -- even without an official referral (though I'm sure they just quickly confirmed what I told them with a quick glance from my file from when I was pregnant with Evanna)!

Next was an OB...... again, through Evanna, I've learned if there is a specific specialist you want to see (and the request is warranted), your name doesn't have to be thrown in the huge pool and randomly assigned. Due to my history (previous csection, high amniotic fluid levels, and Evanna's heart), I already knew I'd be assigned to a high risk OB. Minus the obvious, I am hoping for a much more "boring" pregnancy that doesn't involve relocating to a different city and at the location of my choosing. One of my best friends is a labor & delivery nurse at the newest hospital here in Calgary and turned to her for advice. Due to the fact that she works alongside many of the OB's out of the hospital I had hoped to deliver at, I asked for some recommendations and had my GP submit a referral to the OB of my choosing (another reasonable request). So instead of waiting til hitting the 20wk mark before transferring my care to an OB (ie. randomly assigned), and seeing if I won the "hospital lottery" (the new hospital here in Calgary has a small "cap" of people they can take due to bed capacity), I was informed at just 9wks that my preferred OB had accepted my case and I would be delivering at my #1 choice! In fact, my care was transferred a bit earlier and got met with her when I was only 16wks.... all because I simply asked! There is obviously a lot of anxiety accompanying this pregnancy, but having everything thus far going so smoothly and being able to take control of certain aspects has helped me be at ease.


[HOW WE FOUND OUT]

As coincidence would have it -- the last time we found out I was pregnant in Spring 2016, it was just days before Evanna's big bronchoscopy (for a quick refresher, you can click here to read all about the not-so-great results we received).... and so it felt like a double blow when we found out my pregnancy was "unviable" just a few weeks after that very emotional ICU admission. It's was one of those "when it rains, it pours" situations, and began to truly wonder if we would ever catch a break.

Well, in a really weird twist of fate -- just days before her bronchoscopy this year, we again found out I finally pregnant.... and so I was actually a little terrified that we were going to have a déjà vu moment (another bad bronch followed by a miscarriage). Thankfully, that wasn't the case this time around and we had the "happiest ICU admission" to date, and so far -- all is well with this pregnancy.

Nick and I had began trying for another baby since October, however, Evanna's hospital readmissions (October and December) and 4th open heart surgery up in Edmonton definitely made things both logistically and emotionally harder. We were then slightly caught off guard when pregnancy test after pregnancy test was reading negative (something we hadn't experienced before), but continued to try with encouragement from my doctor that I would indeed get pregnant this year and try not to stress about it (yeah....okay buddy).
With the help of my handy period tracking app, I noticed I was entering the "late" territory (again....) in March, and so I bought yet another pregnancy test on my way home from work. When I got home, Nick was literally heading out the door to his night shift and I spent about 30 minutes catching up with one of my best friends who was there to watching Evanna for the day (she's an RN who works once a month for us). I waited til she left (as it wouldn't necessarily be fair to Nick if my friend knew I was pregnant before he did lol) before running back out to my car to retrieve the pregnancy test. I then raced up to our bathroom, and without trying to get my hopes up, took the test.


POSITIVE

I did a few air fist pumps and danced around excitedly in the bathroom for about 60 seconds before having to snap back to reality and head back down stairs to make sure Evanna was okay. I decided to leave the pregnancy test on Nick's night stand for him to find when he got him in the morning and do a quick google search to figure out a tentative due date -- December.

It was definitely hard to contain my excitement when our night nurse got there (our homecare nurses are practically family....so they were definitely some of the first people we told the weeks following), and went to bed very excited for Nick to get home. Well, sure enough, Nick got home around 6:30am and immediately noticed the pregnancy test on his night stand and took out his phone to use the light to read it. I woke up just as he was picking up the test to check it and he came around to my side of the bed to jokingly state "well, it's about time" and gave me a quick kiss before getting ready for bed.

We remained cautiously optimistic in the weeks that followed until we could confirm everything with a dating ultrasound, but were thankfully somewhat distracted with "Evanna stuff" -- such as her April bronch and June Cath that kept our minds quite occupied. We were definitely elated and a bit relieved to confirm there was actually a baby growing inside me this time.... but I was soon meet with a lovely dose of morning sickness from a very early stage. I had pretty awful morning sickness with Evanna, but I feel like it started much earlier with this baby, and it was more of a "all day sickness" vs just the morning time with Evanna -- in fact, it would actually get worse as the day wore on and I could barely function come the evening. This affected my presence on social media... and due to the fact that I had actively talked about Nick and I wanting another baby, there were actually a handful of people who figured out I was pregnant months before we officially announced lol.

Maternity dress (plus lots of cute pregnancy clothing options) available at PinkBlush // I seriously get soo many compliments on this dress every time I put it on!

FIRST TRIMESTER QUESTIONNAIRE

Total weight gain: No idea. Though I did experience an increase of appetite for the first few months - things have resumed to normal, and I kind of don't care to track my weight gain this time around. It is what it is. I'm indulging here and there (though I'm sure Nick would disagree with this statement lol), but not going overboard by any means. I plan to weigh myself when I go into labor to get a sense of my "starting point", and worry about loosing the baby weight after the Christmas holidays. My weight is being tracked by my OB, and she has thus far indicated that my weight gain has been well within normal limits -- so that's good enough for me.

Maternity clothes? Absolutely! I actually began showing at 9 wks, and had to quickly transition into maternity pants at a very early stage. I know you show sooner with subsequent pregnancies, but due to the fact that I showed at just 12 wks with Evanna, I was showing pretty much right from the beginning with this baby. It's just the way my body was built.....

Stretch marks? Just what was left over from my pregnancy with Evanna.

Sleep: Pretty great. Nothing to write home about.

Best moment(s): Sharing the news with our medical team here in Calgary and the ICU team up in Edmonton while we were up there for Evanna's cath back in June. Yes I'm public about our medical journey with Evanna and try to share as much as possible -- but these people lived it with us. They were physically (and emotionally) there during some of our lowest lows, and truly saw what Nick and I had to go through and endure between 2014-2016. So it was only natural for them to celebrate the news and be excited that Evanna is going to be a big sister. Our cardiologist Dr. Fruitman was probably one of the first people we told, and it was just so sweet to see how thrilled her and Patty (our cardiac nurse) were for us. We then saw our whole respiratory team, and they too were just so happy for us and can't wait to meet the new baby.

Back in June, I seriously couldn't wait to get to Edmonton and share the news with the whole ICU team. Though I was only about 16 wks at the time, it was actually quite obvious that I was pregnant as I was already "showing" quite a bit. While the male intensivists (like Dr. Duff and Dr. Cave) waited for me to say something before congratulating us (to avoid that certain taboo lol), Dr. Holinski (actually had to look up her last name, as we just know her as Paula lol) and Dr. Ryerson were definitely quick to notice my belly and both expressed absolute joy for Nick and I. They made us promise to send an update and pictures/belated Christmas card once I had the baby, and we might even try to get up there to visit during the Stollery Radiothon in January (just a bit too far into the future to make that type of commitment at this moment in time). 

Miss Anything? Cheese (a good charcuterie board to be specific) and sushi! I'm seriously already daydreaming of sending Nick out for a sushi feast once I deliver. 

Movement: Yup! Definitely recognized the "flutters" much earlier, and they're now turning into full-blown kicks!

Food cravings: Nothing in particular. During the worst of my "sickness", my peanut butter/chocolate protein/banana shakes were the only thing that would satisfy me and give my body some decent nutrition. Definitely had a thing for pineapple at one point, and had to stop at Tim Hortons on my way to work to grab a breakfast sandwich (after already having breakfast at home) to help me through the morning for quite some time. Just like my first pregnancy, can never go wrong with a order of McDonald's fries, and dairy items like greek yogurt or ice cream are always welcomed and come well received!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Yeast. We (well Nick) doesn't like buying bread from the store (he states that it's too expensive lol), so he makes about 1-2 loaves/week. Unfortunately, the smell of it baking was making me extremely queasy, and had to request that he not make bread when I was home for a few months. Weird -- I know!

Labor Signs: Nope. 

Symptoms: Just my growing belly! Oh, and the fact that my gag reflex has been shot to hell again. Just like my pregnancy with Evanna -- brushing my teeth is quite the task and a huge undertaking when I'm getting ready in the morning.

Wedding rings on or off? To avoid what happened last time (got to a point where I couldn't take my rings off whatsoever, but thankfully it never became an issue when I gave birth), I took them off quite early into this pregnancy, and have been going ringless for quite some time. It definitely feels a little weird (my finger feels so naked!), but it's just a temporary situation.

Happy or Moody most of the time: I find myself quite a bit more emotional this pregnancy than I was with Evanna. There are lots of things that are coming to the surface that I guess I somewhat "buried" and never had time to deal with before, and there's actually been some waves of guilt, upset and devastation (there will indeed be a blogpost coming soon on this!). It was somewhat bringing to light everything that was stolen and ripped away from my pregnancy with Evanna due to receiving her diagnosis in utero, and the vast differences between these two pregnancies kind of left me struggling for a bit. However, while I say all this, please know these have been just moments, and I'm having less and less of them as time goes on, and able to enjoy the overall "boringness" of a healthy pregnancy. I've been able to discuss these emotions with not only my OB (she actually commended me on being so articulate with my thoughts and feelings so well and may or may not have stated that she finds me very intelligent lol), but also our medical team. While all the doctor's and specialists we see for Evanna are technically "Evanna's doctors", they truly factor our whole family into their care, and have felt incredibly supported as a whole.

Looking forward to: While this would have been an appropriate section to talk about our "babymoon" in BC, that particular trip happened several weeks ago and am no longer "looking forward to it" lol (that's what I get for being such a huge procrastinator lately...ugh). We have some pretty big changes happening in September, such as Evanna starting GRIT on the 6th (it's essentially early intervention "preschool") that will bring a lot more structure to our week, as well as a very special dinner for our core homecare nurses that Nick and I have planned for the end of the month. 


Fingers crossed that my 2nd trimester summary will be done in a much more timely fashion..... 

xo The Irvine Family


PS. Just reminding everyone one last time -- if you haven't already listened to it, I did a 15 minute podcast interview with the Orange Socks Society that was released the day we publicly announced we were pregnant with baby #2! I briefly talk about when we received the news of Evanna's diagnosis, the impact it's had on our lives, how she's been doing, and what the future currently holds for our family. It basically sums up our journey thus far and shows that despite the last few years being incredibly hard and full of trials, things are looking up and we actually have a lot to be thankful for!

Link to the interview HERE (it's about 15 minutes long).


Photography by Lissables Photography || Located in Las Vegas, Nevada


Wednesday, July 12, 2017

|| cardiac cath + first half of summer ||

....I don't know why, but I had a lot of trouble finding the time and motivation to formally write/summarize our trip up to Edmonton for Evanna's cath that happened back in the middle of June and just little surprised its taken me almost a month to get it up here on the blog. While I still kept everyone updated through my Instagram and our Facebook page, I guess due to the fact that the whole situation/referral is still very up in the air at the moment (ie. we are still waiting for an answer... the referral status is discussed further below), the lack of additional information made it feel pointless and a bit mundane to blog about it. However, documenting this journey remains a huge priority for me, so here goes ---

Despite how much planning went our Cardiac Cath procedure, I still feel like that week was a bit of a whirlwind/roller-coaster, but I'm just so happy to have this step behind us now. Not everything went exactly as planned (though, I'm very happy with how it all played out), and due to contracting a little GI bug from the hospital.....recovery took a little longer than expected. I feel like we're still trying to process all the information we got from Evanna's cath, and at the same time disappointed that things still remain a huge question mark until Dr. Hanley reviews the cardiac cath and sends us his official opinion. Though we knew what he was looking for, things weren't exactly as black + white as I hoped they would have been, and both our medical team in Edmonton and Calgary are very interested and eager to see what Dr. Hanley says. While things don't look too great (especially on Evanna's left side), Dr. Hanley is known for saying yes when everyone else says no, and we're somewhat in this weird grey area and basically left wondering how this is all going to play out. The cath doctor (Dr. S) stated that based on what he saw, "most cardiovascular surgeons in the world wouldn't touch her", and asked that he be kept in the loop in regards to what Dr. Hanley's says, as it would be very intriguing if he can do something based on what he saw during the Cath.



[INSTAGRAM UPDATES]

June 13, 2017

||| stollery, day 1 ||| we got confirmation at 10 this morning that we indeed had a bed, and were on the road towards Edmonton just 30 minutes later. The drive went really well, and Evanna only got a little antsy/grouchy towards the end (normal toddler behaviour in my opinion lol). We are now admitted and settled on the ICE unit ("intermediate care environment"), as her trach requires higher observation that the regular rooms can't provide. 

We met with the doctor this afternoon who will be performing the cardiac cath tomorrow (Dr. S), and confirmed that they will indeed be going through her liver and the overall goals of this procedure (imaging for Dr. Hanley, check lung pressures and do ballooning of any collaterals if they can). He also made a comment that he has heard a LOT about Miss Evanna (he's somewhat "newer" to the Stollery, and so this is our first time meeting him), and apparently is well aware of her reputation.... 😳My only disappointment is that we're currently slated for 3rd case tomorrow, which means there is a small possibility we could be bumped (however, our nurse reassured me they've taken cases as late as 5pm), and she'll have to be NPO (no food) during the day vs while sleeping. 

PCICU has been made aware of our admission (actually ran into a favourite intensivist of ours while grabbing a grilled cheese sandwich -- my favourite thing to eat here), but have high hopes that she won't need to go to the ICU after and can just return to the ICE room postop — where we'll stay overnight for monitoring (followed by blood work the next morning to check some liver numbers). 

June 14, 2017

||| stollery, day 2 ||| well, at 4pm we were informed that Evanna's cath was indeed being cancelled/postponed, as the first 2 cases took too long. We're completely bummed.... but knew this was also a possibility, and are just waiting to hear what the new plan will be.


This is by far the healthiest and strongest Evanna has ever been while inpatient at the Stollery, which means we got to be a little adventurous and try some new things like ride a tricycle this morning while trying to pass the time (stuff that I could only dream of just 2 years ago). It's been a super long day of waiting, and despite being NPO (no food or fluids) since 7am, Evanna was such a champ about it. Seriously, this girl has been through so much in her little life, yet remains so happy, calm and content with everything, and I couldn't be more proud to call her mine. 

UPDATE: we're now scheduled to be FIRST case tomorrow 🎉🎉 (which if I'm going to be honest, would prefer over being last case today)

June 15, 2017
||| stollery, day 3 ||| well, the moment we've been waiting for since October/November is FINALLY here! We know Evanna is in great hands (with the same AWESOME anesthesiologist she had back in December for that tough PICC line insertion), but remain anxious and nervous about what kind of results we're going to receive after. Staff were taken back by her easygoing nature while transferring her over to the procedure bed and laughed when she fought the sleeping gas and sat up for as long as she could to watch Tangled on the tablet (which obviously didn't last long).


||| stollery, day 3 part 2 ||| Evanna was in the Cath Lab for roughly 5 hours – and considering this was just a "diagnostic cath" (ie. no ballooning or stents placed), it was definitely a tad on the longer side, as they encountered some trouble trying to access the left side. Unfortunately Evanna's history and extremely high tolerance of sedation medication caused a few minor issues towards the end, which meant we had to make a little pit stop to the PCICU for about 5 hours before we could go back upstairs to our room. While Evanna handles anesthetic beautifully – she metabolises through it insanely quick, and so they had to throw a LOT at her, including a paralytic towards the end, which meant it was safer to recover under the close eye of the ICU.


So cath results - overall, there weren't any major changes and everything essentially remains the same as her last cath from 2 years ago. Good news is her lung pressures remain favourable, which means there are no contradictions for a potential future surgery. However, there is still a huge question mark in whether there is anything to rehabilitate in regards to her MAPCA's/collaterals, and Dr. S remarked that most cardiac surgeons in the world wouldn't touch her. He's aware of Dr. Hanley and his reputation, and basically reiterated what our cardiologists have said -- that if anyone can help Evanna, it'll be him. So now it's just another waiting game of sending down these cath results to California and seeing what he says. 

The plan is to rest easy tonight (we just got back up to ICE), do some blood work in the morning, go over the cath results again with Dr. S in the morning, discharge, and drive back to Calgary. Thanks for all the love + prayers!

June 16, 2017

||| stollery, day 4 ||| and we're DISCHARGED 🎉🎉 After an xray to check the "plugs" they inserted into her liver after the cath, some blood work, and a final chat with Dr. S, – we were told we could take our little girl home with instructions to follow up with a cardiologist next week.

For the most part Evanna is doing well, and we're just dealing with some post-anesthesic nausea right now.

-------------------------------------

So why is everything still so unknown? Well, from how it was explained to us (and will ensure that Nick has everything clarified at Evanna's cardiology appointment on the 20th), though it was straight forward that Evanna's right side is in need of some ballooning and possible stenting... it's the left side that remains the big question mark (which we kind of already knew...and the sole purpose of this referral). Evanna essentially has no pulmonary blood flow to her left side and relies completely on her right lung to oxygenate her blood. The left side does receive what's called "back flow" and is fed blood through little collaterals that run along her ribcage -- which is basically what keeps the left lung tissue alive and well.... but it just means the left lung doesn't really do what a lung is suppose to do. Dr. S (the cath doctor) believes there may be some pulmonary fed collaterals just past her hilum (the point at which the bronchi, pulmonary arteries and veins enter the lung), which is what everything will comes down to. Most cardiothoracic surgeons won't go into/touch lung tissue, but it's kind of what Dr. Hanley is KNOWN for (particularly around the hilum). So it's seriously anyone's guess as to what Dr. Hanley thinks he can do (IF anything at all!) once he reviews these cath images.


[REFERRAL STATUS]

This is kind of where things are getting a little frustrating (again), and the somewhat small consequence of our universal healthcare system when things are stable and the situation isn't necessarily considered urgent. For some reason (that was blamed on technology issues), our cardiologist/cardiology clinic didn't even receive the cath package from the Stollery/Edmonton until just last Wednesday (July 5th)....... and to my knowledge, it was hopefully forwarded to Dr. Hanley within the last few days.
So though I was hoping we'd have an answer by the time we saw our Cardiologist on July 20th, we definitely won't have an answer until at least the very end of July, if not the beginning of August. Trust me, if that news frustrates you, you can just imagine how Nick and I currently feel.

I'm trying my best to remind myself that good things come to those who wait and that everything will work out the way it's suppose to. Evanna is continuing to do well, and I would much rather deal with all this waiting because she's doing so well, then have the opposite problem right now. We feel beyond blessed and so thankful that we do have time on our side, and are focusing on that fact instead. Between my pregnancy and weaning Evanna off the ventilator (which continues to go well), we remain quite busy and distracted, and so we aren't really dwelling on this delay... except calling the cardiology clinic every week to ask for an update lol (always a tough balance of not being "that annoying mom" and properly advocating for things to happen in a timely manner). 

[JUNE + JULY HAPPENINGS]




Not only have we been kept distracted by my pregnancy and weaning Evanna off the ventilator (which currently involves monthly appointments to the Respirology clinic), our social calendar has somewhat remained quite full too! The weekend before Evanna's cath, Nick and I actually went away for two nights with our friends to a cabin in Golden, BC, and we left Evanna in the care of our homecare nursing team. We enjoyed a nice relaxing weekend surrounded by the beautiful rocky mountains, and definitely hope to make it an annual trip (and crossing our fingers that Evanna will be able to come with us next year). The weekend following the cath, Nick and I attended a wedding at the Calgary Zoo (so BEAUTIFUL btw) of his old EMS partner, and had lots of fun with tons of Nick's colleges (it was a very EMS filled wedding due to the fact the bride is an EMT and the groom is a Paramedic that both work on the same shift), and we agreed it was hands down one of the best weddings we've ever been too.


Just after Father's Day, we unexpectedly got a phone called from our ENT's office, and were asked if we wouldn't mind doing our yearly "combined clinic" (an appointment with both our ENT and one of the trach respirologist) at the end of June vs September. Apparently they had a ton of cancellations, and were trying to fill some spots (why are some specialists easier to see than others?!). Well, the appointment was night and day compared to last years, and the mood was definitely much happier to say the least. Last September, we were at this huge plateau in regards to Evanna's respiratory status, and I was having a really hard time with the fact that we had made absolutely no improvement nor gains towards weaning Evanna's very high ventilator settings or sprinting since bringing her home. I was met with "well it is what it is" type attitude from the ENT, and told we just had to be more patient. Yeah.... was definitely not happy with that answer and even got a little emotional during the appointment.
This time, it was a much more positive visit with the ENT, who was extremely happy to see that her bronchoscopy results were showing her tracheomalacia is essentially gone, and we're making awesome progress with sprinting off the ventilator. I didn't really have anything to discuss, as we're on a pretty steady path with weans and sprints, and there's not much more to talk about (ie. decannulation) until Evanna is completely weaned off the ventilator. Overall, the whole team was happy to see the major improvements Evanna has made since last Fall, and will continue to keep tabs on her (especially if we end up going to California).


We enjoyed a busy, but fun Canada Day long weekend with the additional bonus that Nick was home for almost all of it. We first attended an event at the Foothills Stake Centre, as they put on a huge annual Canada Day event every year (apparently the mayor attended last year), and were able to catch up with quite a few old acquaintances. After that (and a tiny cat nap for this preggo), we headed out to Okotoks and had a picnic at the splash park. Evanna wasn't really a fan of the splash pad part, but that's not going to stop me from trying to continue to introduce Evanna to new experiences. We were able to do both of these activities (event and splash pad) with Evanna sprinting and left the ventilator in the back of our car -- something I can't emphasize enough just how liberating that was. The evening was concluded with a quick BBQ at my parents house and one tired little girl.
We entertained Nick's family at our house the following day, and ended the weekend with a family photo session with my friend Alissa of Lissables Photography.

Nick's birthday was this past weekend, but due to insisting that we keep everything extremely low key, just had one of the homecare nurses come over early to watch Evanna so we could go for a simple and quick dinner (next year is his 30th....which means that same request will most likely be disregarded).


Next week we have our detailed ultrasound where we hopefully find out baby #2's gender, which means we can finally start discussing names (Nick refuses to discuss baby names until then, as why have two arguments, when it just requires one? lol) and have invited some friends and family over later that night so we can reveal the news together.

xo The Irvine Family

PS. if you haven't already listened to it, I did a 15 minute podcast interview with the Orange Socks Organization that was released the day we publicly announced we were pregnant with baby #2! I briefly talk about when we received the news of Evanna's diagnosis, the impact it's had on our lives, how she's been doing, and what the future currently holds for our family. It basically sums up our journey thus far and shows that despite the last few years being incredibly hard and full of trials, things are looking up and we actually have a lot to be thankful for!


Link to the interview HERE (it's about 15 minutes long).